Grief Support Library

The Three Amigos

by Terryd

Through a tragedy 10 years ago, my mom got ill, my life and priorites took on a deeper more powerful direction.I got reaquainted with my children in a way that fullfilled my needs and theirs as a family. I had two children who rarely argued, instead sought to really try to find out how to help. We had our time together just the three of us and on other times I would have individual planned dates with them. Life was hard but that was okay because we had each other. We became the three amigos and continued to be there to love and support unconditionally as we all grew up together.

Mikey who was two years older that his sister Jenette, said to me our first Christmas with out their dad, "Mom, we are officially called the three amigos. We do not need anything more because we have each other." Mikey was only 11 years old.

Being a single mom and running my own business had its challenges for sure, however, that too was okay because for no moment did I let the "Why" out of my foremost thought process. We did so many firsts together. It was not only the first time the children experienced somethings but I did as well.

The children and I got so much peace in our lives with simple changes... our home was always full of music, the TV was rarely on. We spent so much time in our kitchen, chatting, doing homework, doodling, planning dreaming. We took trips together, we laughed together and we cried together.

The children used to be horrifed when we would go out to dinner because I became the child and they the parents. I love food fights, and love playing football with the creamers acoss the table. Or pretending it was one of our birthdays. We would get free balloons or a piece of cake... Harmless yet wonderful fun.

Mikey was also very protective of his mom. We were in a restaurant after a job set up, when Mikey noticed these men at the bar checking his mom out... well that was not acceptable... He was dying to go the bathroom but was determined not to leave me susceptible to these strange men (all I could do was laugh.) He took the menu, flip it over, wrote RESERVED in big letters and stood it at the edge of the table while he went to the bathroom. He was my man.

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The years went by and our dreams became reality. We set some high goals for ourselves and together we never lost hope. We moved from Boston to a wonderful community in Rhode Island in 1997. Here the children just blossomed. The area, the children here, the schools incredible. Instead of waking up with fire engines or our neighbors fighting, we wake with geese and ducks, we live on a pond surrounded with pine trees.

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